Twilight, Twihards and Twiglets

I woke up this morning feeling a little bit sorry for myself as I have not had many good nights in the last few weeks, I am not sure why exactly but I seem to keep waking up at 5am so I was not in the best of moods but luckily then I saw an advert for Stephanie Myers new book and it cheered me up no end.

After all no matter how tired and warn out I get I will always be far superior to anyone who likes the Twilight franchise, if that is not worth celebrating what is? I think it is funny that we have people talking about the dangers of Kids going “Emo” and why are they depressed. News Flash they are depressed because their music is pants (Although I do like a few My Chemical Romance songs – everyone is allowed a guilty secret.) they are forced by peer pressure to walk around looking like the survivors from a trainload of Drag Queens hitting a building full of Hobbits and as for their hair, if you looked like that wouldn’t you be depressed?

And then the big breakthrough film for these poor, embarrassment to themselves, Emo’s is Twilight. Now as an 80’s/90’s child/teenager I grew up with the Lost Boys, Near Dark, Buffy, Angel, Interview with a vampire, Dracula etc.. But this film is just the worst of all vampire pap I have ever seen. It is like they took the lamest vampire fantasy of a 12 year old girl and decided to commit it to paper and then film. Now I understand the Hollywoodisation of all stories which state that you must have young girls and boys falling in love but would a vampire really fall in love with a 16 year old girl. Surely a vampire would rather hang out with people in an old peoples homes, reminisce about the war or the 60’s, rather than go out with a 16 year old to hear her complaining about how her parents are too hard on her or her exams are too difficult. How could anyone over 16 really give two s**ts about this Dawson’s Creek winging.

And as for the whole sunlight rubbish, “Don’t see me in the sunlight, I don’t want you to see me as a monster!” oh wait you don’t turn into a monster in the sunlight you sparkle!! Did I miss some cosmic shift in the world, since when did women get turned off by something sparkling, maybe I have missed the scores of screaming women poring away from H Samuel's desperate to get away from their latest range of diamond rings?

I have to admit that I believe that Twilight could be a good movie and obviously I hold denigration to any fan of Twilight that is a girl under the age of 11, But there are fans of Twilight who are both Male and in their 20’s and what name do they chose for themselves? Twihards!!! Seriously Twihards! Now one of my wife’s family is a Twihard, it is like they want to be mocked! I promise not to mock him and then out they come “We’re Twihards” and before I can stop myself I am ripping into them. I admit I can be overly sarcastic at times, but come on stop making it so easy!!

Finally about the post title, I also hate Twiglets!!