Movie Review: I Am Number Four

Big Shock at the cinema this week, We went to see I am Number Four and it wasn't all that bad, I know what your thinking how can there be anything good about it when it is produced by Michael Bay, and normally I would agree that as soon as Michael Bay gets involved in any project it is normally by nature a bad film, but this was not all bad.

The story is the current photo fit young adult movie that is doing the rounds.

Alien/Werewolf/Witch/Vampire loner and has to keep to himself but falls in love as his enemies are closing in.

The Outsider this time is the eponymous Number 4 played by Alex Pettyfer (The Kid from Stormbreaker) with the Love interest played by Glee's Dianna Agron. It very much reminded me of a cheaper version of 2008's Jumper, cheaper in cast rather than budget which I believe was actually more.

I had been expecting the film to be very poor as in Empire magazine it said that the premise was a group of Nine Alien children who each had a number and had to be killed off in the correct order, obviously this made me simply wonder why they don't get number 1, lock him away somewhere and then all protect him knowing that until they get him the rest are safe, but it appears that Empire are wrong (Not for the first time) although they are being killed in order by the Magodorions - it must get hard to come up with names, at least this is better than unobtainium! The Magodorions are quite funny with gills on their cheeks and sharp teeth they have mastered interplanetary space travel but seem to lack the ability to set a decent trap, and for some reason they decided to cut the power to try and slow down someone who has in built torches in his hands.

The best supporting character is Callan McAuliffe who plays the geeky friend and UFO hunter who has some good comic lines, and gives everyone who is sitting at home on the Xbox a good excuse to play on.

Overall I have started to think that perhaps the only reason the film is not all that bad is because being a Michael Bay I was expecting so much worse!

There are apparently going to be six films in this series (although apparently the books are not written yet.) and I will happily go and see the next one although the series really could go south very quickly.

A Nightmare on Cinema Street

Last night I went to see a film I was greatly looking forward to a Nightmare on Elm Street the new version of the original, of cause they call it a re imagining - why are they never remakes any more?



Now I am going to assume that you are familiar with the originals, There is a chance that if you have not seen the originals it would give you a different opinion.



The film is directed by Samuel Bayer who I have only ever known as a Music Video Director, so you would expect that at least the music would have been good - It wasn't



The film is also produced by my least favourite Hollywood entity Michael Bay, There have not been many films released lately that were unoriginal, uninspiring or just a copy of something that has gone before where Bay has not been involved. As if trying to pass of a remake of Parts: The Clonus Horror as his original film The Island was not bad enough I thought he had finally accepted his limitations as a film maker when instead of making Transformers 2 he decided to make a biopic of Megan Fox's backside. but I should stop now as I can talk about the lameness of Bay for years (And some day I might, but its bad for my blood pressure.)

Onto the film itself, The film was Lame. Gone was the suspense, the terror. In came the glove bursting through the body, and again, and again. In came the exploding blood packs. and most annoyingly in came prepubescent EMO kids mopping around feeling sorry for themselves. The Iconic Freddy dragging his claw along the boiler room lost a lot of its menace as the special effects muppets seemed to get carried away with pyros exploding miles away from his hand.

All in all the effect was for a slow paced lifeless horror movie that was more Blood than suspense. I was sat in the cinema thinking how nice it would be to fall asleep and if I was really lucky be visited by Freddie and not have to wake up to watch the end of the movie!

I must remember my rule, If it Says Michael Bay on the box, it must be trash in the box!


In an interview, producer Brad Fuller initially explained that they were following the same line they did with their Friday the 13th remake, by abandoning the things that made the character less scary—the film's antagonist, Freddy Krueger, would not be "cracking jokes" as had become a staple of his character in later films—and focusing more on trying to craft a "horrifying movie". More like removing what made it watchable to focus on a more sleep inducing movie.
I thought for a second that Freddie might have taken over the production to try and get lots of victims at the same time.