Final Thoughts on Russia

The Church or Christ The Redeemer

Back from Russia now and after a very tiring journey home including a nightmare stop off in Munich, I will no longer listen to people saying the UK is inefficient after being told at Munich that we had to hurry to our departure gate for our connecting flight to Heathrow we had our passports checked twice and then had to go through security – Even scanning the soles of my feet with a metal detector, when I was barefoot – and get our bags scanned, seemed like a lot of security as we were never actually going to be landside of security. Only to get to the gate and find there was a two hour delay on the flight. Needless to say we were not best pleased, particularly as we had no Euros eventually we got onto the flight and added Lufthansa to the list of airlines I will never fly with again (Not a massive list, just Lufthansa and Easy Jet to be honest.) Anyway, Trouble getting back to the UK aside I wanted to write a quick summery of our Russian adventure focusing more on the experience than what we actually did (On the final day our visit to the heart of Moscow was at the same time as the visit of the Chinese Foreign Minister so it was a bit of a wasted day as everything was shut down pretty tight, but we walked around and enjoyed the relatively police free areas away from the Kremlin. If I had to pick five words to sum up the holiday they would be; Cold, Rude, Intimidating, Pricey and frustrating – I understand that these may not seem like very glowing words and I would agree, Russia is not for the casual tourist, I would recommend going to Prague first and getting around without using any English as a way to break you in slowly. But to fill in a bit more detail: Cold – Speaks for itself, it was -10 everyday we were there and there was constant heavy snowfalls, This was not too much of a problem when in the centre of Moscow but the walk to/from the Metro station was often a killer after a long day – Try to visit in Summer or stay next to a metro station. Rude – When I say rude I mean more as a generalisation rather than for individuals, Pretty much all of the individual Russians I was actually able to talk to were friendly, some would simply blank you when they heard English but the others would happily struggle through a bit of conversation in half English half Russian (My only contribution to the Russian part was Spasiba (Thank You) and Niet (No)) However the problem is that I am particularly obsessed with manners even for an Englishman and so the Russian approach was a severe culture shock, If you were to queue up in Russia you would soon find yourself at the front of one of several queues as the Russians would start to queue either side and slowly push you out of the way. Intimidating – This is the police rather than anything else, We were told that the Police supplement their income by fining tourists and as a result we went out of our way to avoid them, or looking like tourists, annoyingly this means I can not confirm this piece of advise for myself as we did not speak to a policeman at any point whilst we were there. People in Uniform however were everywhere and the stress of trying to not look like tourists was quite draining, it really made me appreciate the UK Police who I am very confident would gladly help a lost tourist if needed – obviously if they weren’t busy chasing criminals. In fact at any time when I was younger and needed help I always sought out a policeman and was rarely disappointed, so it was a real struggle to get out of this way of thinking. Pricey – The Pricing issue was an incredible juxtaposition of the very cheap and the very expensive, it seemed to work mostly along class lines where if it was used by the ordinary Muscovites or a necessity (or was handmade) it was very cheap, if it was for the very well off or imported then it was very expensive. Vodka was less than a £1 a litre where as Mineral Water was up to £3, you could pick up a packet of cigarettes for £0.30 but Strawberries would set you back £30 (for about £2 worth in the UK.) Perhaps the most telling example of how people were cheaper then goods an advert for a Lap Dancing Club advertised Lap Dances for 50 Roubles or £1.10, these went up through a Private Dance (£8) up to a VIP Dance for £11 I dread to imagine what that involves. For the most part though everything cost as much if not more than in other world cities so if you are going (Unless it is on a Stag Night) take lots of cash. Frustrating – The frustration was mainly caused as I am very keen on photographing architecture and Russia has a lot of wonderful buildings combining old churches (Both original and reconstruction) with very ambitious Soviet building projects and minimalist design blocks – however not being able to be seen as tourists and the fact that many of the buildings are illegal to photograph (And unless you can speak Russian it can be very hard to know if you are outside a hotel or a government building) I missed out on hundreds of good shots that I would have happily taken if I had been back in London.

Movie Review: Limitless

This week’s cine-visual treat was Limitless staring Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, The A-Team) as a failing writer; It is never really explained how he actually managed to get a book contract when he had never even managed to write a single word – I would love the name of his literary agent, or the publisher who is handing out advances based on concepts for that matter – His life is changed for ever after a chance encounter with his Ex-Brother in Law (Brother of his Ex Wife rather than his Sisters Ex Husband) who offers him a pill. The Ex-Brother in Law having given up drug dealing in order to work in selling pharmaceuticals, This pill he explains is the answer to the fact that we only use 20% of our brains and can open up the other 80% - Obviously at this point I have to point out that this is not true and in fact all of our brain is used just for reasons of controlling electrical output our minds do not all fire at once as this would over heat our receptors. – Anyway he decided he has nothing to lose so tries the pill and instantly becomes alert focused and seemingly has total memory recall. A few days later he has finished his book, started trading shares and started to learn new languages, although his first priority does seem to get as many women into bed (Or bathroom cubicle) as possible. Obviously there is a catch, would be a pretty boring film if not :- “Here’s a Pill” “Thanks, here’s a book” “Thanks” So the film starts with Bradley contemplating suicide as a gang of murder intent criminals are breaking down his door, and then tracks back to see how he gets there (Always a bit annoying to me to know where a certain point in the film will be as it then locks the possibilities into a certain point, and this film didn’t really throw up any shocks on how he got there.) The only really annoying points for me were that 1) He had an advanced intellect and thought through all possibilities and yet never once considered the possible side effects, surely as a genius this should have been a consideration. 2) The criminal “mastermind” that he was pitted against (Not Robert De Nero who was very good as his boss/adversary) did not seem a worthy opponent, if we were to believe that he did in fact have all the skills that he had received from this pill then he should instead have been a minor inconvenience. 3) too many questions were simply ignored, I don’t want to ruin anything with spoilers but I left with a great deal of unanswered questions, and it isn’t one of those “Imagine your own ending” films (Which also annoy me – I pay you to tell me a story, I can easily stay at home and tell myself one.) the questions are simply ignored entirely. The film is based on the book “The Dark Fields by Alan Glynn and rather unusually for a Science Fiction film a book I had never read, so it was quite unknown territory for me which probably led to me liking the film a little more than if I had known the story. However I do think this is a good film, and a good concept so well worth watching if you get a chance. Finally a quick bit of trivia, Bradley Cooper attended the Actors Studio New York, If you watch the series Inside the Actors Studio in which stars are interviewed in front of students Bradley Cooper was in the audience which interviewed Robert De Nero, must be quite a good feeling to think that De Nero is now supporting him in a movie.

Day two in Moscow

For our second day we started off by travelling on the Metro, unlike the tube which is a means to an end i.e. to get around, the Moscow metro is a series of interconnected museums to Russian history, many show statues to Soviet heroes (farmers, soldiers etc..) others have mosaics of scenes from before the revolution. And best of all as you only pay for entrance there is no more cost for jumping around than there is making a single journey. (The best stations we saw were Belorusskaya, Kievskaya, Park Kultury and Ploshchad Revolyutsii)

One of Moscow's Metro Station

Several stations later we came out at Gorkey Park and looked around the several miles - at least it felt like it - of artists selling their paintings.

Statues at Gorkey Park

For dinner we went to Maki Cafe (Glinishchevskiy Pereulok 3) for Stroganoff which we washed down with a very reasonable bottle of "Soviet Champagne" - we thought it might be something strange but it was just a very nice sparkling wine. - only £10 a bottle which is half the cost of most wine here (they don't grow grapes so all wine is imported) The food was of a good quality and at just over 1000 roubles (£22) not a bad price. Of cause it does take some time to get used to people smoking around you whilst you eat, although it has not been that long since it was banned in the UK the practice seems particularly alien when you first walk into an establishment - and when you arrive back at the hotel and wonder how the smell followed you, usually as your hair and clothes stink of it.

First day thoughts on Russia

Today was our first full day in Moscow, we visited Red Square, the Kremlin and because it is a tradition McDonald's.

Now I know it can seem a little common or unadventurous to visit McDonald's however we always visit in each country as it is the one constant and shows better than anything else the difference between countries - the food is (nearly) always the same and yet there are always differences. Anyway this McDonald's was very much a Russian version, in place of the queue there was a scrum! That is the way with Russia, if you queue behind someone within a few seconds you are standing at the front of one of three queues, and if you're not forceful it will be the slowest moving one too.

Red square was a good day out and after the fight for tickets and The fight to get in the Cathedral of St Basil was very interesting, the other end of the square was the museum of history which gave a strange symmetry of a church followed by an exhibit on evolution.

Overall my view of Moscow after one day is that it is functional, there is the old joke about the US spending millions on developing a space pen to use in zero gravity and the Russians took a pencil, although I know both are false - a ball point will work in zero gravity - I do now see what they mean, as we arrived in Moscow there was heavy snow fall and several of the passengers remarked that in the UK the airport would be closed, the fact it wasn't in Moscow was due to a fleet of snow clearer's in ancient tractors and men walking along with large bundles of sticks knocking the snow off the tarmac. Clearly a low cost solution but one that works, in the UK however it would be a matter of hours before the unions were in the management offices screaming about health and safety - the result we can't afford the solution so we don't get one - this practical attitude is probably most clearly felt in the Metro system which is quite remarkable, the stations are like palaces and the trains are like trains, they are not new, not comfortable and very crowded. However they are rarely out of commission - no upgrades means limited closures - they run every two minutes and they are very cheap (55p per journey no matter how far) the Russians do not seem to ask for new carriages, and they don't get any, the staff are paid an average wage (tube drivers get nearly double the national average) and as a result prices stay low. In short the Metro like Russia is functional.

Tomorrow we are going to Gorky Park, the Zoo and on a tour of the most palatial metro stations.

When will Crawley be a league team?

Waiting for the Champions League Quarter Final Draw starring Tottenham I thought I would spend five minutes running some calculations on Crawley Town and their push for League Status. Crawley currently sit top of the Blue Square Premier with 77 pts ahead of AFC Wimbledon with 71 but having played 5 less games and facing them on Friday night at home so things are looking very good, what I have decided to look at however is when Crawley can have the title wrapped up. With Crawley, Wimbledon and Luton (Currently in 4th) having 12, 8 and 11 games remaining respectively they each have a maximum possible points score this season of:
Crawley Town 113 (Previous Highest is 101 Aldershot 07/08 Season)
Luton Town 102 (Hence why I have included them in analysis)
AFC Wimbledon 95

Obviously anything can happen in football and so far all Crawley are guaranteed is to finish above 9th but that would take not just a catastrophic loss of form but also an incredibly unlikely turn of events that would see the worst case scenario coming up for Crawley in every match. But onto more optimistic matters.
Going forward if things go Crawley’s way then the following scenario can see the title (and by extension promotion) being secured in two weeks time.
Crawley are playing 5 games in the next two weeks (Actually 2 weeks and 2 days)
Home – AFC Wimbledon
Away – Eastbourne
Away - Gateshead
Home – Mansfield
Home – Darlington
Obviously a very challenging schedule however if they win all the games they will sit on 92 Points with only AFC Wimbledon (92), Luton (102) and Wrexham (93) able to beat them and AFC only on GD.
Wrexham’s next game is away to Fleetwood Town which is not an easy fixture but all they need is one loss from their 4 games in the next two weeks and their maximum will be 91, If AFC Wimbledon drop a single point (Assuming they lose to Crawley Tomorrow Night ) they will also be mathematically prevented from beating Crawley.
The least likely turn of events however is that for Crawley to wrap up the title on the 2nd April Luton will need to lose all 4 of their matches between now and then which is more of a stretch than Wrexham and Wimbledon losing one, or for my money Crawley winning the next five.
If Luton and Crawley both continue to win however then the title could instead be clinched 10 days later on the 12th April when Crawley Host Luton, perhaps this would be a better turn of events as it would make that one hell of a match.

And the Oscar goes too...

Well we have finished another awards season with the 83rd Academy Awards.

There are 24 awards presented in the Ceremony which was presented by Anne Hathaway (Not Shakespeares Wife) and James Franco who seemed quite nervous throughout, but who cares about that as after all what we are watching for are the winners.

The Main Awards went to:

Best Picture: The Kings Speech

Best Director: Tom Hooper - The Kings Speech

Best Actor: Colin Firth - The Kings Speech

Best Actress: Natalie Portman - Black Swan

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale - The Fighter

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo - The Fighter

Best Original Screenplay: David Seidler - The Kings Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin - The Social Network

Along with four technical awards for Inception which was definitely the most original idea of the year, The social network also picked up awards for Editing and Original Score, perhaps a sympathy vote for the film that was very widely tipped to clean up before the Kings Speech came out.

Overall I think there were no particular surprises I said after watching The Kings Speech that it was my pick to win and I think it was well deserved, Similarly Natalie Portman's performance in Black Swan was one of the best solo performances I have seen in a film for years. Christian Bale is one of those actors who however you feel about him as a person, and there is a lot that happens in his personal life, he always gives 100% to any role he takes and so rightly got recognised, I doubt it will be his last.

I think the star of the awards however has to be Tom Hooper who made the rarely made transition from Eastenders to Best Director Actor, and finishes a fast transition to hollywood elite.

Movie Review: I Am Number Four

Big Shock at the cinema this week, We went to see I am Number Four and it wasn't all that bad, I know what your thinking how can there be anything good about it when it is produced by Michael Bay, and normally I would agree that as soon as Michael Bay gets involved in any project it is normally by nature a bad film, but this was not all bad.

The story is the current photo fit young adult movie that is doing the rounds.

Alien/Werewolf/Witch/Vampire loner and has to keep to himself but falls in love as his enemies are closing in.

The Outsider this time is the eponymous Number 4 played by Alex Pettyfer (The Kid from Stormbreaker) with the Love interest played by Glee's Dianna Agron. It very much reminded me of a cheaper version of 2008's Jumper, cheaper in cast rather than budget which I believe was actually more.

I had been expecting the film to be very poor as in Empire magazine it said that the premise was a group of Nine Alien children who each had a number and had to be killed off in the correct order, obviously this made me simply wonder why they don't get number 1, lock him away somewhere and then all protect him knowing that until they get him the rest are safe, but it appears that Empire are wrong (Not for the first time) although they are being killed in order by the Magodorions - it must get hard to come up with names, at least this is better than unobtainium! The Magodorions are quite funny with gills on their cheeks and sharp teeth they have mastered interplanetary space travel but seem to lack the ability to set a decent trap, and for some reason they decided to cut the power to try and slow down someone who has in built torches in his hands.

The best supporting character is Callan McAuliffe who plays the geeky friend and UFO hunter who has some good comic lines, and gives everyone who is sitting at home on the Xbox a good excuse to play on.

Overall I have started to think that perhaps the only reason the film is not all that bad is because being a Michael Bay I was expecting so much worse!

There are apparently going to be six films in this series (although apparently the books are not written yet.) and I will happily go and see the next one although the series really could go south very quickly.